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    May 08

    我回来了

          我回到学校来了,回来了,我不知除了这句我回来了还能再写些什么,这两天很累,为一件我自己现在也不能相信的事情,我不知道这样做是错是对,但我没的选择,只有如此...
          酸文假醋,刚骂过就这么干了一回,深夜不归,四百字的短信,鬼知道的勇气,八个如果,他认输了,但也许……输的人是我。
          (以下的斜体字是同一天写的日记,煽情得很,当时却不敢贴出来,现在事情过去一阵了,页面上也看不见这些字了,就忍不住贴上来,某人若真的看得见,也许会有些许感动吧)
          割开了皮肉,终于看到了那颗毒瘤,但却选择了保守治疗,硬生生的把伤口缝了起来,本来并不确诊,虽然会疑心,但还有那么一丝生还的希望,而今,不但确诊,还剌了一条大大的伤口,流血,痛。
          忽然间觉得我的爱情受虐症又一次发作了,在那个誓言被打破之后,不是他输了,是我输了,我没办法放下,我怕,怕失去,怕受伤,可这伤是一开始就注定的,我没办法说这是一个错误,虽然真的是错误。
          脑海中一直一直想着和他在一起的情景,第一次牵手的顾虑迟疑,第一次拥抱的厚实温暖,第一次接吻的胡茬,第一次零距离接触时的温柔触碰,第一次说想你,第一次说爱,两次相见前的思念,耳畔的低沉细语……一切的一切构成那八个如果的勇气,伤痕过后的见面,颤抖而犹疑的接近,他的怀抱依旧温暖,但却没了安全,诀别般的吻,感觉到的并不是情,或许我真的应该放下,从此后这道裂痕就会一直卡在我们之间,硬生生圆起来的破镜终究映不出完满的爱情。

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